The Marion County, Florida, sheriff’s office has entered the hunt for a towering but strangely flat Bigfoot. The missing Bigfoot is 9-feet tall but best seen in silhouette.

According to a message on the good-natured department’s Facebook page, “At this time, we do not have any large footprints to track. Bigfoot’s direction of travel is unknown… It was last seen wearing all-black and was playing a permanent game of freeze tag. This Bigfoot smells like plywood, which is very different than the regular undetermined Sasquatch smell.”

Well, in that area of the country, large, hairy, bi-pedal primates are generally called “Skunk Apes,” and not without olfactory cause. Maybe it’s the heat and humidity. In this particular instance, the sheriffs “do not believe that Bigfoot is a danger to the community but the owner of Bigfoot genuinely would like it back home. They are disappointed that someone trespassed on their property in order to take it. Hopefully, it will be found before we have to call in the experts, like the crew on that TV show – Finding Bigfoot.”

Behind the chuckle is a number of sightings of Bigfoot-like creatures in Central Florida in the recent past, including video from Lettuce Lake, sent in to the Bigfoot Evidence site by Matthew McKamey in January of 2015. Take a look at the original footage with commentary and video enhancement by former Oregon police officer Phil Poling, who runs the YouTube channel ParaBreakdown, and found the footage “compelling.”

One point in favor of legitimacy is that if it were a person in that suit, “they are either a moron or completely insane,” said McKamey, “They are walking, swimming and diving in an area where there are hundreds of 12 foot gators and water moccasins everywhere.”

A much more clear image of an alleged Bigfoot/Skunk Ape was taken by John Rodriguez, a 66-year-old retired electrician who was out fishing Dec. 26, 2014, on the Hillsborough River northeast of Tampa. He sent this image in to the Huffington Post with a message reading, “I fish for gar in the river and I bring my camera to take pictures of the birds and what not. I heard a squishing sound, looked over and saw this thing walking through the water and crouch down in the duck weed. It did not look like a guy in a suit — it was definitely an animal. I took this picture and got out of there as fast as I could.”

Bigfoot TAMPA SKUNK APE

Do we finally have the crisp and clear Bigfoot image that has eluded enthusiasts and believers for so long? Sadly, no.

Reviewing the image, Ben Hansen, former FBI agent and host of Syfy’s Fact or Faked, wrote, “Thanks to the clear photo, I’m excited to announce that the photographer has captured a real-life… gorilla in a Bigfoot suit! To be more precise, the face of a gorilla that has been digitally added to the photo with editing software. Although I originally suspected the creature suit was actually in the water when the photo was taken, I started to notice shadows in front of the Bigfoot that appeared to be an inconsistent length and shape with the rest of the photo.”

Digging in even deeper, Hansen added, “Additionally, there appears to be some heavy digital editing touch-up to the fur around the face and where the body meets the water. I’m now leaning more toward believing the whole creature was pasted into the image and then branches and twigs were added in the foreground. The branches also could have really been in the scene, but they were later edited as separate layers so Bigfoot looks like he’s now behind them, sitting in deep contemplation.”

Additional research has turned up — sadly — that the Lettuce Lake video may be a hoax as well. Sigh.

Ah well – the hunt continues, for Bigfoots flat and otherwise.

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